CIABrad.eth Posted May 30 Member ID: 1 Group: Administrators Followers: 4 Topic Count: 65 Topics Per Day: 0.68 Content Count: 7,012 Content Per Day: 73.04 Reputation: 5 Achievement Points: 70,010 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/03/2025 Status: Offline Last Seen: Monday at 05:34 AM Timezone: America/Los_Angeles Device: Linux Posted May 30 Hitchhiker's Guide to the Graveyard *(A Dark Tourist's Handbook for the Morbidly Curious)* --- ### 🌑 Chapter 1: Places You Shouldn’t Go (But Will) - The Suicide Forest (Aokigahara, Japan)  - *Pro Tip:* Bring a roll of tape to mark your path—phones lose signal fast.  - *Local Myth:* Spirits mimic voices to lure you deeper. - Chernobyl’s Amusement Park (Pripyat, Ukraine)  - *Best Time to Visit:* Dawn, when the rusted Ferris wheel glows in nuclear sunrise.  - *Souvenir Idea:* A Geiger counter (for bragging rights). - Sedlec Ossuary (Czech Republic)  - *Why Go:* A church decorated with 40,000 human bones.  - *Etiquette:* Don’t pocket a femur—they count. --- ### 💀 Chapter 2: How to Sneak Into Restricted Sites *(Hypothetically, of Course)* 1. Abandoned Asylums - *Entry:* Look for boarded windows with loose nails. - *Defense Against Spirits:* Carry salt (for ghosts) and pepper spray (for squatters). 2. Closed Military Bases - *Tactic:* Wear a hi-vis vest and clipboard—act like you’re inspecting asbestos. - *Risk Level:* High (MPs don’t appreciate improv tours). 3. Haunted Hospitals - *Excuse If Caught:* *“I’m an urban explorer… with a heart condition?”* --- ### 🔮 Chapter 3: Communing With the Dead (Bad Ideas Edition) - Ouija Boards in Graveyards  - *Pro Move:* Use a vintage 1920s board (they’re *allegedly* more accurate).  - *Consequence:* You might invite something home. - Midnight Séances  - *Location Hack:* Host it in a murder Airbnb for “authentic vibes.”  - *Snack Pairing:* Red wine (looks like blood under candlelight). - Ghost Hunting Apps  - *Best Free App:* *“Spirit Box Chatter”* (or just tune a radio to static). --- ### 🚨 Chapter 4: When the Dead Fight Back Signs You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome: - Your flashlight dies *only* in one room. - You hear footsteps… but you’re alone. - Your EMF detector spikes when you ask, *“Are you angry?”* Exit Strategy: 1. Apologize aloud. 2. Leave an offering (coins, whiskey). 3. Run. --- ### 🎒 Chapter 5: Packing List for the Apocalypse - Essentials:  - Blacklight (to spot old blood).  - Lockpicks (“for emergencies”).  - Holy water (or vodka in a spray bottle—same effect). - Advanced Kit:  - IR camera (see ghosts in thermal).  - Faraday bag (stop ghosts from hacking your phone). --- ### ⚰️ Final Exam: The Midnight Challenge 1. Visit a graveyard at 3 AM. 2. Find the oldest tombstone. 3. Whisper, *“Tell me your story.”* 4. Don’t scream at the reply. Pass/Fail: If you wake up in your bed with dirt on your shoes… you passed. --- Epilogue: *“The dead don’t bite… but the living guarding their secrets do.”* *(Chaos University is not liable for demonic attachments, arrests, or existential dread.)* 🖤 Order Your Copy Today: *www.graveyardhacks.fake* Quote
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